LShanah Tova, Bnai Israel Congregation family. From my couch to yours, I wish you a sweet new year.

When I was four I fell flat on my face on top of a bowling ball in the slippery lane of a bowling alley. Although you can only really tell when I authentically smile, I paralyzed my lip that day. When I was 9, I begged my dad to teach me to play the flute. For hours he tried to get me to make any sound out of the disconnected head of the flute. I couldn’t even make a sound come out of it, no matter how hard I tried. So instead my dad taught me some basic chords on the guitar.

This isn’t a story about giving up my dreams…it’s a story about embracing the imperfect. My lips can not physically make the delicate round shape needed to play a flute…it’s physically impossible. I had to accept my reality, that my ideal wasn’t going to happen. What my father taught me was the flexibility of the imperfect embrace. I learned to salvage the moment in a creative way.

Last high holidays my in-laws came to my house and we had holidays meals together. I ran back and forth between main, tot, and kid/tween services. I stood by the entrance of the building and shook every single person’s hand. I hugged people who I had not seen since their grandkids bris, daughters bat mitzvah, or fathers funeral. I shmoozed with people as they shoved bagels in their mouths during break fast. It was loud and noisy and overstimulating. And it was perfect.

This high holiday season we aimed to be a flute virtuoso with a paralyzed lip. But when that failed, we broke out the guitar. Trying desperately to embrace the imperfect.

Let me tell you a story about Nachum Ish Gam Zu. Many years ago, when Jews were under the rule of the Romans, there lived a man named Nachum. He used to say that everything God does is for the good. Therefore, even if something that happened to him did not appear so good, or even seemed so bad that others would call it a misfortune, he would say “Gam zu le tova, this, too, is for the good.” 

One day, the Jews learned that the Roman emperor was about to make life very difficult for the Jews. They decided to send a beautiful gift to the king in Rome in order to make him friendlier to the Jews and not give them trouble. 

All the Sages agreed to send Nachum, for he was a man for whom God made many miracles. So they all asked Nachum to be their messenger. Nachum humbly agreed, saying only, “Gam zu l’tovah.” Nachum set out for Rome, carrying with him a beautiful box filled with precious gems and pearls for the king and queen.

Just before reaching Rome, Nachum stopped at an inn overnight. During the night, while Nachum was asleep, two thieves sneaked into his room, looked through his things, and found the box. They opened it and saw it was filled with gems and pearls. They emptied it of its precious contents, which they put in their pockets, and filled the box with sand. Then they left quietly.

The following day, Nachum appeared at the royal palace and told the guards that he came all the way from the Land of Israel, carrying a gift for the king from the Jewish people. The Jewish sage was ushered into the presence of the king. Nachum told his majesty that he brought humble greetings and good wishes from the Jewish people, as well as a gift for the king and queen. The king sent over one of his servants to fetch the box. After admiring the beautiful box for a moment, the king opened it, and his face turned red with anger.

“Look what the Jews sent me for my birthday!” he said to his servants, as he lifted a handful of sand from the box and let it fall back through his fingers. “I’ll teach them a lesson they will not forget, for making fun of the king!”

Then he ordered his guard to seize the Jew who had brought him this “gift,” and throw him into prison, where he would await his execution. Nachum was as surprised as anyone else when he saw what was in the box. So he lifted his eyes heavenward and said, “Gam-zu l’tovah!”

Later that evening, as the king prepared for bed, Elijah the Prophet appeared before him in the guise of one of the king’s servants. “Your Majesty,”‘ Elijah said, “you surely did not think the Jews would make fun of you and send you ordinary sand? Maybe it is the kind that their Father Abraham used to defeat his enemies in war? It has been told that Abraham threw handfuls of sand against his enemies that turned into swords; and straw that turned into deadly arrows. Would it not make sense test this sand the Jews sent you? Maybe it’s that secret weapon…”

“There’s no harm in doing just that.” the king agreed.

The king happened to be in war, and he was not able to defeat his enemies. He ordered his generals to use the sand. The enemies fled in terror, and the war was over. The king ordered that Nachum be freed and brought before him. “I had no idea what a wonderful gift you had brought me,” the king said to him. “You may ask any royal favor in return.”

Nachum told the king what the purpose of his mission was: to plead with the king to withdraw the decree that would hurt the Jews very much. The king agreed. In addition he ordered his royal treasurer to fill the box with gold and diamonds and rubies from the king’s treasure chamber and give it to the Jewish sage to take back with him. 

On his way home, Nachum stopped at the same inn where thieves had stolen the contents of the box and filled it with sand. The innkeeper had heard of the honor and wealth the king had bestowed upon the Jewish sage. “What did you bring the king in the box that made him so happy?” the innkeeper asked.

“Only what I carried from here,” Nachum replied, truthfully.

The innkeeper talked to his son, and the two of them – they were none other than the thieves that stole the contents of the box decided that they would do even better than the Jewish sage. They broke down the best wall of the inn and collected a good deal of broken pieces of rock, which they pounded into a fine sand. This they packed into large boxes which they loaded on donkeys. They made their way to the king’s palace.

When they appeared before the king, they told him: “This is the same kind of sand that the Jewish sage had brought to the king that made the king happy. We’ve brought a lot more to make the king even happier!”

“Indeed?” the king remarked wondering. “Well, we’ll soon find out.”

He ordered samples of the sand to be tested, but no miracles happened this time. So the king ordered that the two thieves to be punished.

When Nachum heard what happened to the thieves, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Gam zu l’tovah!”

For our holidays this year, we need to be a little bit like Nachum and like my dad. We need to embrace the imperfect. Many people worked tirelessly on these services. And they are far from perfect. 

Even though we prerecorded english readings, we tried to make them look as live as possible. It could be that people trip up words or make unfortunate slips and say words adjacent to the ones they were trying to say.

Gam zu le tovah!

It could be that despite our best efforts, a video gets mislabeled and played during the wrong time. Or someone forgets to unmute themselves for a zoom honor. Or something happens with our internet. 

Gam zu le tovah!

It could be that this is the first time in your life you are spending holidays with just immediate family, or just your partner, or alone. It could be that this is the first holiday you have spent without Imah’s squash kugel and your out of town guests you see only a few times a year. Or this is the first Rosh Hashanah you have had since losing a loved one, and their absence is felt more deeply in this isolation from community.

Gam zu le tovah!

It could be that you upgraded your technology, or downloaded zoom, or got internet access for the first time to close the divide between you and your loved ones who are far away. You may have turned your living room into a sanctuary, complete with ritual garb, mahzors, and dishes for apples and honey. Even though you could be in your pajamas, you are dressed in your holiday best. Or maybe you are in your most comfortable clothes, and your body feels less constricted and your prayers flow more easily.

Gam zu le tovah!

It could also be one of the most meaningful services you ever attended. Prayers have been purposely cut down to make a shorter services that cover all of your holiday favorites. English honors have been expanded to include more people as well as make the service more accessible. Sermons have been shortened to keep maximal interest. Slide shows of the year have been created to help us feel more connected through the screen. You get to spend the holiday both in the comfort of your home and with your synagogue family at the same time.

Gam zu le tovah!

This Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur, lets fully embrace this imperfect situation. Let’s salvage the moment in a creative and resilient manner. Forgive yourself  if intended to make it through the entire but found it to be stimulation overload. Forgive me if the service isn’t as smooth as it could have been live. Forgive those who made errors in their prerecorded honors. Most importantly of all, view this service not in relation to what could have been live. That would have been a flute solo. This service is a gorgeous classical guitar riff.

Gam zu le tovah!

Lshana Tova u’metuka! A happy and sweet New Year, imperfect but beautiful nonetheless.